I knew I had to get out of the work environ I was in.  Easier said than done.  I felt trapped.  As I looked at internal openings, I sunk- 'I'm not qualified for that.'  On top of that, it wasn't just me and Trex at the time.  If I lose my income, I'm not the only one that's homeless.  We'd be able to deal, Trex and I.  Life's dealt us far more painful and trying experiences.  But we weren't alone in the house.  I felt the weight of that too, when in reality, I couldn't be faulted for telling the … [Read more...]

Amalgamation I think I had a mid-life crisis.  I'm not sure.  I don't know what would make that so different than having significant moments in your life- complete with the molting, a screwy sense of direction, and doubt before cresting over all the unpleasant crap you wrestled with just to see the horizon.  The one that makes it all kind of worth it.  I do know that as I eeked by thirty, I was wading almost neck high in a pool of uncertainty.  I took stock of my life and did myself the … [Read more...]

Dear Reader, I've spent the past tenish months writing something. It's deeply personal on many levels and is as equally cathartic. Ignoring the delete button is a continual exercise in tempering anxiety, fear, and defaulting to something that morphed from a temporary coping mechanism to a default way of functioning; cutting myself off from my feelings. There are people in my life that enrich it. There are people in my life I share glorious history with that I cherish. There are burgeoning … [Read more...]